“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
What is confidence? All my life I’ve seen it muddled with arrogance but that’s just a misinterpretation. After all it’s typically people who have low self-confidence that tend to think that. Now don’t get me wrong, confidence and arrogance do overlap for a lot of people. But not everyone.
Confidence is (I’ve already used it 4 times, may aswell play the confidence drinking game while you read this and that may also boost it – tip) self belief – well traditionally that’s what it is. But in this post modern society we live in, confidence has everything to do with your appearance and how much you like it, unfortunately.
I couldn’t begin to tell you how to be confident because all of mine is fake. I would say its pretty obvious when someone is naturally confident but most of my friends think I am. Or they just think I’m arrogant and have a huge ego, which is harder to argue against.
Fuck it. Literally. What’s the worst that could happen? Just pretend, blag your way through it. But do it without lying as that could get you in trouble.
I got back to uni after a reading week once and we had a presentation in 2’s the next morning. Obviously me being me I hadn’t done it yet. So we stayed up till 6am finishing the presentation which we were showcasing to the world at 9am. It was an analysis of a Kiera Knightly advert, the one where she’s riding a motor bike or something.
Presentation starts and my partner literally threw me under a bus and fluffed all of his parts (sorry mate, I’m sure I did the same to you during the last few years) and I literally was talking out of my arse. I was blagging on like I wrote, directed and produced the fucking advert which I only saw for the first time the night before.
But that didn’t last long as it lead to me forgetting academic words, “thingy” no really I actually said that as a substitute for an academic term. I also portrayed confidence, I was moving my hands for no reason whatsoever trying to look like I know what I’m talking about. Eye contact is also key to confidence, don’t be looking around trying to avoid it (major key alert, sorry I had to). We got a 2:1 for that presentation from what I remember.
Put yourself in uncomfortable situations where you usually wouldn’t feel confident. That may induce a panic attack or mental breakdown, but that’ll only last 5 minutes and you’ll learn to deal with it. You can’t swim without getting in the water and trying it, that sounds like a shit version of a famous quote I’ve probably heard.
Other people will bring it out of you too, countless times I’ve been forced to act it around people who ooze confidence.
Speak properly (I didn’t know how else to word that) avoid fillers and silence like the plague. As soon as there’s silence and you look down or away, mate you’ve fucked it. There goes your confidence along with any chance you had of getting her msn address.
Do you ever have moments when you feel cool? Like genuinely cool? Use those moments to evolve your confidence because it’ll be easier. Alcohol is not confidence in a bottle, is just masks the part of you which makes you worry about what people think. Music? It makes me feel more at ease but at the same time I feel lost without my earphones sometimes.
Be smart though… or try to be, because there’s nothing more annoying than a confident person who is a ducking idiot. (I’m writing this post on my iPhone and you know the struggle of ducking, stupid ducking autocorrect).
But at the end of the day, everyone is winging it. That person you’re sat infront of during a job interview? They probably did the same thing you’re going to do. Wing it.
What makes you feel confident?
UPDATED: 21:22 29/03/16
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